"..I wanna tell the whole world about a friend of mine
This little light of mine and I'm finna let it shine.."
I was at this training, and the trainers felt it was time for the trainees to show they understood all they had taught. So, they decided we were going to act, and yes you guessed right, yours truly was suddenly a thespian!
I didn't want to do this thing at all, but it was kind of compulsory, so I was like what the hell?! All these movies I have being watching, there has to be something. I went out there with a smile, and when it was my turn to dramatise, Denzel was in the building. Totally!
There I was, feeling like the Oscar was a sure thing, and then Meryl Streep takes the stage. Long story short, you all know how these things go, I wasn't the one who gave the "thank you" speech.
"..See you're, unbreakable, unmistakable
Highly capable.."
I had hate in my heart man, it was so unfair - I didn't want to do this thing, but I did and put in my best, and then some girl won? I ignored everyone for the rest of the day.
Moving on.
A week or so later, and it was now time for the practical aspect of this same training. I was attached to this guy and, brother was showing me the ropes, I was soaking it like a sponge, and we were just jiving men, doing our thing. Then, it happened.
Meryl Streep appears and sits. Right next to us. Next to me.
You know when you and your boys are trying to watch a game, and then some lady shows up, and says she wants to watch Tinsel or KUWTK? You know that look she receives (and deserves)? Yeah, I gave her one of those and wore my worst scowl.
She was there to rub her victory in, afflict me, and I wasn't going to let that happen. I mean, of all teams to join, she chose mine, the one with the person she beat to the Oscar? Why? She obviously wanted to dance, and I was ready with my azonto/Harlem shake.
The guy I was attaching with, then asks Meryl Streep what her name is, you know, her real name. She replies, Toluwani. He says, Tolu (you know, for short). Then she says, "No, it's Toluwani - Tolu is common but, no one else bears Toluwani".
Dear readers, please bear in mind that my kid brother's name is Tolu. And you all know nothing is more important than family, right? Good.
All these while, I don't get involved and I'm looking straight ahead like my life depended on it. Then, Toluwani places her elbow on the desk, balances her face on her palm, leans forward to look at the monitor screen and I growled. Grrrrr.
Watch out for Part 2, the battle line has been drawn! Hehe..
Ladies and gentlemen, now I'm sure you all are wondering, why the pain? The hate? As in, my tale literally begs the question, yes? Well, here's your answer.
Toluwani is easily the prettiest girl in my work place, and I exaggerate not. Believe me. This was the kind of beauty that was in the eye of every beholder. And the girl be pulling this thing off effortlessly, I mean, she wears almost no make up! I was smitten, and switched to "kid mode". You all know how as kids, when a boy likes a girl, he shows it to her by being aggressive towards her.
Also, Queen Amina, Joan of Arc - do you know what they had in common? What made them win all those wars and battles? Well, I do. Before I tell you, let me say that history is a strange thing and reveals itself only to those it chooses, I was chosen. And like everyone else it chooses, I'm going to twist it a little to fit my purpose. Amina, Joan, Toluwani and all those women who won all those wars were great beauties. Simple! It's the way they won those wars, hehe.
Toluwani won the war between us, she won me over. (Part 2 spoiler).
Today is her birthday, and I celebrate her, I mean she's in my top five chicks! I celebrate her because...
"..Can't you see, you're like a book of poetry
Maya Angelou, Nicky Giovanni, turn one page and there's.."
She's very nice - Toluwani recently came into some loot, next thing I know, she is compiling a list of account numbers and spreading the wealth around, like a politician. Now, if it were yours truly, after my tithe and family, I'm going to embark on some serious projects. Everyone else can work for their money. Not this lady, everyone that mattered got a piece of the pie. She possesses a large heart, she defines nice.
She's very sweet - One day like that, we were just talking and all, and she called me sweetie. Heeeeeyyyy, my head scatter. She might not have seen it, but my blush could have stopped traffic. Another time, she was talking with a friend and she called me her baby. Hehe, let me not tell you the reaction this time. Now, this isn't what makes her sweet o! What makes her sweet is, she calls everyone sweetie and baby - try to imagine how that makes all of us feel? She's a true sweetheart, if you an older lady, she'll call you mummy! An endearment for everyone (although, as I think about it now, I've never heard her call anyone Daddy, hehe..*side eye*)
She's very pretty - Ok, ok, ok. By now, the pictures should have done all the convincing. But then, you all know people be talking about a lady who might not be "all that", and then someone goes, "she's got inner beauty though", either in a compensating way or because this lady really is. Well, Toluwani is a double dish. Confam. Clean on the inside, clean on the out. She flutters her eyelids, and blow me away!
She's a Christian - This madam has being trying to drag me to her church like forever, she's got only gospel tracks on her phone (I downloaded some Lil Wayne on her phone and she screamed, " Little Wayne on my phone, I never see!), all that niceness and never getting mad has to be spiritual - no normal person can be that way, she prays for me, she would never sleep in a dude's house - husband only...really, this girl is a child of the Most High. I call her Iyawo Jesu (Jesus Wife).
Toluwani, if you are reading this, you make me want to be a better person, the best man there can ever be, and for that, I am grateful. Your friend zone is one where I want to be in forever, seeing as I can't afford all those weddings you always looking at on Bella Naija, also because I love you (agape o!) and can't wait to see the strong, beautiful, dignified woman, wife and mother you going to become. Being your friend is a privilege, seeing your toothy smile an honour. Listening to your cool stories is a delight, and teasing you endlessly is a pleasure. If I continued to write, I won't stop, but stay rest assured that you have all of my best. Finally, in the words of Drake, "may your neighbours respect you, trouble neglect you& Angels protect you" Amen.
